Social anxiety or shyness

If you have social anxiety you are likely to find most situations with other people difficult. You probably see most social situations as a threat and worry that people will be thinking negatively or judging you. You are likely to avoid at least some social situations and worry that you could not cope, especially when meeting people in unfamiliar situations.

Do you recognise these common signs of social anxiety?

What you feel:

  • Strong feeling of fear in social situations that won't go away
  • Worry you may act in a way that will be embarrassing in front of others

What you think:

  • Concerned that others are thinking badly of you or judging you
  • You have a negative image of yourself, which is how you fear other people see you, thinking things such as, I'm boring or if I get it wrong, people won't like me
  • Anticipate that things will go badly, before going into social situations, thinking things like I will make a fool of myself or I must not look anxious
  • After being in a social situation, replay how you behaved and felt, thinking things like that was awful or I looked stupid

What happens to your body:

  • Chest feels tight or painful
  • Tingling or numbness in toes and fingers
  • Stomach churning or butterflies
  • Having to go to the toilet
  • Feeling jumpy or restless
  • Tense muscles
  • Sweating
  • Blushing

What you do:

  • Avoid going into social situations that you find difficult, even if this is inconvenient for you, for example, going out to buy sandwiches rather than having to go into the busy staff canteen
  • Become distressed and anxious when you do go into social situations you find difficult
  • Avoid talking on the telephone
  • Develop strategies to cope with social situations, such as, rehearsing what you are going to say, offering to help so you can keep busy, or talking for a short time but then moving on to another location
  • Find it difficult to relax in social situations, drink more, smoke more, talk quickly, or keep on the move

The more of these symptoms you recognise, the more likely you are to be experiencing social anxiety which could be having an effect on your life. If you would like support to manage your anxiety and you are ready to make changes to improve your wellbeing, then we may be able to help:

You can also find more information on NHS Choices and in Our useful resources and links.