Learning to be more self-compassionate | Blog

We are often our own worst critics and can be really hard on ourselves, which makes us feel worse in the long run. Only by trying to catch these negative thoughts are we able to turn them round to be something positive, which in turn fuels our self-compassion.

 

 

Self-Care

Being self-compassionate can also been seen as prioritising ourselves and spending time on more self-care.

In essence, self-care is the practice of intentionally taking time to nurture our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

Whether it's exercising, meditating, setting boundaries, or simply resting, self-care is about prioritising yourself without guilt, so you can show up as your best self in all areas of life.

When thinking about how we best prioritise self-care, here are some things to consider

  Are you getting enough sleep?

Try to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time to develop a good sleep routine. Try to create a comfortable sleep environment, avoid caffeine later in the day and avoid too much technology and screen time before bedtime. If you are struggling to get good quality sleep, why not join our free  Improving Your Sleep workshop  where you can learn to understand and manage your sleep better with some actionable tips.

  Challenging any negative thoughts when they arise

Try talking to yourself out loud and in the third person (so using your name or saying you, instead of I or me). This is called distanced self-talk and can help with getting started on a task e.g. by saying something like come on, you need to get started . It can also encourage self-compassion as it helps us to talk to ourselves in the same way we would talk to other people.

Try saying to yourself:

Would you judge someone else as you do yourself?

What would you say to a friend if they were in the same situation?

What would a more helpful thought be?

Try and keep active with regular exercise

Physical activity releases endorphins and gives us that feel good factor, which in turn helps us feel better in ourselves.  Keeping active can be as simple as going for a walk around the block, finding a free class on YouTube or simply making small changes like taking the stairs instead of the lift or escalator!

  Spend time outdoors

Spending time outside and taking time away from mobile, computer and TV screens gives us time to reflect on how we feel and what we need.  So wrap up warm and get some fresh air.  Suffolk has so much choice with plenty of green spaces and a stunning coastline, offering lots of opportunities for a nice seafront stroll and fresh sea air!

 Try journalling

Keeping a journal is a safe and creative way to document our thoughts and feelings and allows us to reflect on how we feel.  Journalling can also help us develop self-compassion.  It's an effective way of allowing us to process and digest anything we find emotionally challenging.  It also heightens our awareness of how we feel day to day and how kind (or not) we are being to ourselves.  It's a good way to notice if we are indeed being unkind and allow us to focus on being more self-compassionate and to break the cycle.

 Do more of what makes you relax

We all have different ways of relaxing - whether it's about finding time for that nice bath, picking up a good book or listening to your favourite podcast, it's about doing more of what works for you. You might also want to find new ways of relaxing, such as learning progressive muscle relaxation.  These are effective and simple relaxation techniques proven to help us de-stress and improve how we feel. We have a guided session you can join online called  Relaxation Station  where you'll experience progressive muscle relaxation for yourself.  Why not give it a try?  Click here to book your free place.  Another great way to relax is listening to podcasts, have a listen to our podcast about self-care and self-compassion, where we have a chat about why both are so important for our mental health.  Listen here  for free, whenever you're ready.